During our conversation, he shared why he wanted an executive coach: he wasn’t getting the naked truth about how things were really going within the organization. And he knew that had something to do with him. People around him were quick to say “yes” to his requests, to applaud his decisions, to placate him at any sign of frustration… but not necessarily to tell him any “cons” along with the “pros.”

On the one hand, he enjoyed his reputation as a daunting leader. He knew, in fact, just how to use it to his advantage: cutting through stalemates with suppliers, assertively breaking new ground for the company’s direction, commanding unquestionable respect from Wall Street analysts and his executive board. But it had also dawned on him that his imposing ways shut most people down (and not just at work; at home too). As a result, he realized he was blocking the way to the honest relationships that would give him the candid critique he needed to run his organization well.

So, what do you do when your presence is too big as a leader? Imagine your energy — your presence — as one of those inflatables you see in parades; if you’re already filling up the room, no one else can get in. It’s common to talk about “right-sizing” the organization, but rarely do we consider right-sizing our energy to fit the situation at hand. Right-sizing begins with becoming aware of three simple, yet powerful leadership tools already at our disposal: our language, our bodies, and our emotions.

Take, for instance, our CEO — let’s call him Mr. Big. I listened in as he spoke to his leadership team a little later. “I want,” “I need,” and “I am” dominated the conversation. He spoke quickly with a rigid jaw and crossed arms. Everything about him projected command and control. And that would not be bad, by the way, if he were facing the proverbial burning platform and dictating do-or-die steps for the organization’s immediate survival. But as I eavesdropped, what he really wanted was for his leaders to form and embrace a new vision of company success. The problem? There was no room — given the force of his words, his almost aggressive posture, and the size of his energy — for anyone else to play.

And, worse, overbearing leadership styles tend to correlate with workers’ “poorer individual ratings of vitality” as well as “long-lasting stress,” “emotional exhaustion” and “greater risk of leaving the workplace due to poor health.” An over-sized leadership presence not only quells the naked truth Mr. Big wanted from his managers and employees, it threatens to crush the very effectiveness of these people.

What executives like Mr. Big could experiment with — say in coaching sessions or role playing with trusted colleagues — is to become more vulnerable and curious. That means physically opening up your stance, trying postures that are more encouraging (e.g., arms unfolded, a sincere smile), and gestures that invite collaboration. In speech, it means leading with more questions than answers, making space for others’ voices to be heard, and slowing down to a speaking pace that’s easy to follow. The key is to actually do these things, to practice and make them a real part of your leadership toolkit.

Once your speech patterns and physical presence take on this right-sized energy, you will likely find your whole attitude and demeanor adjusting to a more appropriate level. And that’s the sort of emotional tone which will create a field in which others can participate. Like parade inflatables, the size of your energy is adjustable. Sometimes it’s better to let a little air out and make room for others to join in the parade!

Photos by Lord Jim (top) and Roebot

Most recently I was asked about “it” by a global finance leader who called to request executive coaching. After years of accelerating through ever-higher leadership roles, her flight as an executive hit turbulence: “Your business skills are superb, your expertise in finance first-rate, your ability to lead others and collaborate with peers exceptional,” a superior told her. “But you’re missing the ‘it’ we need in our executive ranks.”

“What in the heck is ‘it’?” she wondered.

Tens of thousands of books have claimed to pin down exactly that one “it” that lifts great leaders out of the sea of mediocrity: from 6th century BC (think Sun Tzu’s Art of War) through classics like The Essential Drucker and contemporary works by leadership gurus such as John Maxwell, Warren Bennis and a past mentor of mine, Peter Koestenbaum. And then, when you find yourself taking this all too seriously, the search for “it” continues with Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams’ Random Acts of Management and Fast Company’s Harry Potter spin-off, The CEO of Hogwarts.

From the serious efforts to the satires, squint your eyes and you’ll see that there’s something in common here. These attempts to identify the substance of great leadership seem to be seeking the same “it” as my bewildered finance leader. And, whatever “it” is, the seeds of it must be within us all. (Why else would so many thinkers write so many books — still trying to reach readers after more than 25 centuries?)

When the executive on the phone explained her situation further, I began to deduce that her “missing it” was what I call executive presence. Beyond management skills, knowledge of key subject matter, and professional networks, executive presence is that elusive quality that I believe often gives one leader an edge over others. It’s inherently subjective, and it can be hard to identify or evaluate… but when in the presence of executive presence, few people are blind to its enchantment.

Picture this situation: Gene steps to the podium to convince his company’s senior leadership team about how to restructure a business partnership. He is armed with a slick arsenal of PowerPoint slides and his power tie is, by fashion magazine standards, all the rage. And despite relatively solid ideas, somehow his presentation falls flat, he gets barraged with unflattering challenges throughout his spiel, and the team continues to berate him even after he has left.

Following Gene, Gerald shares his ideas on the same restructuring, receiving a much warmer reception. Compare the two presentations, their two ties, and even the merits of their two sets of ideas and the difference is not obvious. But put yourself in the shoes of that leadership team, observing both presenters back-to-back, and the difference was profound. They hadn’t even discussed what was ultimately Gerald’s advantage, at least not directly: Gerald revealed his executive presence.

Though it seemed as if Gerald left his audience spellbound, I don’t believe he’s a magician. He simply exuded the confidence and poise to communicate his message with all of his being.

You see, executive presence includes the way a leader uses his or her personal being — not just air-tight logic, slick words, or presentation razzle-dazzle — to magnetically attract and influence the right people in the right situations at the right time.  Management consultant Paul Aldo claims there are three dimensions of personal being most influence the full presence of an executive:

• Personal – The passion, poise, and confidence that make up the substance of your internal character.
• Communication – Your ability to be honest, open to others’ ideas, and capable of connecting your thoughts with those of others.
• Relationship – The thoughtfulness, sincerity, and warmth which enable you to be interested in others and genuinely express your commitment.

When providing feedback about executive presence to executives and executives-in-training, I prefer to add two more dimensions to Aldo’s list:

• Well-Being – Your personal stamina and energy: when nurtured, this becomes an unflagging river of endurance, carrying the momentum of your passion over the logjams of fatigue and stress.
• Wisdom – The sophistication to think broadly and deeply about challenges and to bring forth — often out of others — transcendent, win-win solutions.

Total up these five dimensions and you begin to distinguish great leaders — those people with unquestionable executive presence. This list may not define “it” in the style of Sun Tzu, Peter Drucker, or even Dilbert, but the list sheds light on a fundamental realization: the “it” of great leaders is first about honing, optimizing, and nurturing qualities already within us all. Your executive presence comes to life through your personal being, giving you, as a leader, that unique “it” of charm, authenticity, and substance.

Photo by ericskiff

I think the answers to both questions begin here: Too often as leaders we’re going so fast about the tactics of making change happen that we forget people — yes, us human beings — are involved. Many leaders I work with have risen through the global business ranks as excellent “change managers.” For any given change initiative, a good change manager knows how to create plans and strategies, implement actions, and track progress. All very logical and productive steps toward a given goal…

But let’s say you’re in a situation which is ill-defined, complex, and highly charged with emotion. Sound familiar? For most of us, that’s 90% of our leadership situations. Maybe you’re in charge of totally restructuring your organization for increased productivity. Or, you’re overhauling the compensation system to motivate employees without breaking the bank. Or, you’re charged with re-building top leadership teams to rejuvenate company performance. In these dramatic everyday scenarios, Change Management 101 won’t suffice.

Good change leaders I’ve witnessed go beyond logical tactics and rational benchmarks to attend to the soup of human fear, anxiety, excitement, and resistance that is part and parcel with making major changes happen. And, they accomplish this by demonstrating five crucial qualities that are available to any leader willing to take charge of change:

1. Show Your Authenticity – Drop that image of the unflappable “change manager” in your head. Share your doubts, concerns, and hopes about the uncertain future. While you shouldn’t overdo it, the point is to reveal yourself as a fellow human being. When you’re one of them, your people can relate to you throughout change, with the bonus that you can help them recognize and cope with their own worries and fears.
2. Catch People Doing Things Right – Look for the good things people do to make the change successful, whether it is tackling the smaller milestones or showing up with sincere commitment. Sociologist (and dear friend) Marcial Losada and his colleague, Barbara Fredrickson, found that the teams most capable of flourishing in the face of adversity were those that gave their people three times more appreciative feedback than criticism.
3. Manage Your Energy – OK, change is stressful. But you don’t have to let the stress kill your presence, poise, and energy. In fact, as the change leader, you need to be more balanced than ever, the captain of a ship on topsy-turvy waters. Be aware of your stress signals–that nervous eye twitch, the unending monologue of fears in your head, or — in my case — the way my upper back arches up like the Rocky Mountains (and feels just as heavy). Being aware of those signals means doing something about them: prevent or cope with the signals of stress through mindful commitment: healthy food, more exercise, enough sleep, conversations with good friends, and… breathing.
4. Be a Learner – You can be a model of openness, adaptability, and innovation simply by asking questions and sharing your curiosity about the future. While we do our best as change leaders to define the future, the truth is that we can’t know everything. To some extent, we are all making it up as we go along. You’re probably already comfortable in command; now get comfortable with experimentation, growth, and learning.
5. Hold the Vision – Rather than sticking to a rigid plan, stay focused on any given change’s higher goals… especially when the details of the change… ahem, change. When you’re truly holding the vision rather than grasping at straws (which, let’s face it, is inevitable at times even for the most worthy leaders), you’ll notice it. You’ll feel it in your body (confident, grounded), your language (inspiring, real), and your emotions (passionate, energized).

Go ahead, test yourself. You can apply one of these five qualities to just about any situation you put your mind to. Practice on the small things: hold a vision for what you’ll have for lunch today. (Apply all five of the above and you might find yourself leading one mighty fine lunch!)

Photo by 416style.